Infidelity is Domestic Violence

Jakarta | badilag.net

Infidelity could actually brings someone to the jail, since the affair is a pyschical domestic violence.

“The infidelity is also a domestic violence. It does not leave a physical effect, but has a remnant in the heart.” Indah Wilujeng said in the mediation workshop held by Badilag in cooperation with Indonesia-Australia Partnership for Justice and Family Court of Australia on Wednesday (03/21/2012).

Indah Wilujeng is the activist of Women Headed Household Empowerment (PEKKA). Although she would deliver about gender issues in the mediation, her explanation extended to some issues, included the infidelity.

Indah admitted that infidelity or domestic violence can be done by either men or women. But based on the data of PEKKA, most of the victims are women.

Hasnawaty Abdullah, a judge of Surabaya RC, has a different opinion. Based on her experiences handling the divorce cases, the women do the affair more.

Responding to the opinion, Indah did not want to blame the women. For her, the affair which is done by the women does not automatically mean that they are the domestic violence doer.

“The violence does not stand alone. It has relationship and cause-effect.” She said. . However, the domestic violence is not always done by the men.

“I do not say that the women never do the violence, in some cases, they could be more injurious. Moreover, there was a wife cut her husband’s genitals.” She described.

Listening to such statement, Mardison expressed a tickled question. “When the women have problem, they would be easy to complain. How about the men? There are not any NGOs for the men?”The judge from Samarinda said.

Intact the Family

So far, PEKKA is an active NGO struggling for women’s right, including in the divorce affairs. In this workshop, an idea raises to propose that PEKKA play an important role to save of the disputed family in the religious court. The effort could be done through mediation.

“What is actually the role played by PEKKA to reconcile the disputed family through mediation in the religious court?” Waljon Siahaan, the Chief of Cilegon RC asked.

Waljon needs to ask such question due to the reality that PEKKA always focuses on divorce. Whereas the divorce is not the only solution to solve the family problem. Because the most inportant is to preseve the family intact.

Waljon hopes that PEKKA not only struggle to solve the domestic violence by applying penal approach. “The more important is preventive approach.” He said.

Responding to such question, Indah Wilujeng clarified that her organization does not involve in the court mediation. What is really promoted by PEKKA is to empower the members that they could understand the law, obtain their justice, and not victimized in the domestic violence.

Indah agree with the preventive approach towards domestic violence, but without neglecting the litigation approach.

“The preventive one is not enaugh. The violence has occured. When it occured for many years, either to sue the divorce petition or to complain to the police would be no matter.” She said.

[Mohammad Noor]